Serpent's Kiss
by Itch and Silent Dragon
Summary: Two new teachers show up shortly after Lupin at the beginning of Book 3. A completely messed up world from there on.


This is what's known as a Harry Potter Self Insertion fic.  
  
Itch: It's authored by me and Silent Dragon. Say hi Dragon!  
  
Silent Dragon: Hi Dragon! ;)  
  
Itch: Okay, that was pathetic, Dragon. I don't normally write Harry   
Potter. In fact, one most often can find me cussing it out-- although,   
as of late, I've been reading some pretty awesome AUs. I love AUs. And   
Crossovers. Glorious crossovers... erm, yeah...  
  
SD: I however am quite the Sna...Um Harry potter fan  
  
Itch: You know I blame this whole fic on you, Dragon. If it wasn't for   
that sketch of nekojin Severus-sama... *grins*  
  
SD: Thank You!  
  
  
  
Serpent's Kiss  
Chapter One: Arrival   
The Itch & Silent Dragon  
  
  
  
"The Lady Leigh has arrived!"  
  
There was a collective blink as a woman-- most likely in her early   
twenties-- entered the Great Hall. Ruby red hair pulled back in a   
ponytail, and grey eyes peering out from beneath a wild fringe of   
platinum bangs. Ears pierced twice-- a silver and gold hoop in the   
right ear, a silver hoop and a silver bar that brushed her shoulder,   
dangling from her left.  
  
She wore several necklaces-- there was a silver cross on a silver   
chain, a gold cross on a gold chain, a golden moon charm and twin   
amethysts on yet another gold chain, not to mention a three inch silver   
sword charm-- and far to many rings on her hands. The students had to   
wonder if this was another Trelawney. Or Lockhart, from her entrance.   
Her ebon robes appeared ready to fall off her thin frame.  
  
"Shut up, Sam. You're scaring them."  
  
Behind her entered another woman, of about the same age. Dirty blonde   
hair fell to her shoulders, the tips melting into her black robes.   
Blue-green eyes glared at her friend as the woman played   
absent-mindedly with a silver talisman that hung around her neck.   
  
"That's half the point," 'Sam' grumbled, "You sure know how to blow the   
fun out of something, Char..."  
  
Before either woman could continue into what would have been an   
argument, they heard a pitiful groan of 'Merlin no!'. From the head   
table. From a specific black haired form. From Severus Snape. He   
obviously knew them, and was apparently trying to hide.  
  
"Sev!" came the dual shout, and they were halfway across the room   
before anyone could blink. Minerva McGonagall's laughter and Albus   
Dumbledore's chuckle brought them to a halt, however.  
  
"Professor Kuroi, Professor Leigh, it's nice to see you two again."  
  
Sammi Leigh waved cheerfully at Dumbledore, "Purple Polkadots!"  
  
"Hello Headmaster," Charlotte Kuroi smirked a bit as her hyper   
companion bounced over to DUmbledore's hat and placed it on her own   
head.  
  
The white haired wizard smiled back at the two witches, "Have you   
already eaten?"  
  
"Are you asking if the bottomless pit over there is hungry?" Char   
teased, "But no, neither of us has eaten yet, Bee."  
  
"Do we get..." Sammi's voice hushed to a whisper, and all the students,   
and the teachers that didn't know better, leaned forwards to hear her   
next words, "...Yorkshire Pudding?" Had this been an anime, they all   
would have face-faulted. As it was, they proceeded to stare at her   
incredulously.  
  
"And the obsession rears it's ugly head..." Char muttered, while   
Dumbledore chuckled. Once he'd calmed down, he stood, facing the   
students.  
  
This was, of course, the beginning of the year. The sorting feast had   
only appeared on the table a few minutes earlier; this would be the   
start of one Harry James Potter's third year. Albus began to speak, "I   
had been afraid these two wouldn't show up... they have a reputation   
for _not_ being the most punctual of witches--" two shameless grins   
greeted the students, "-- but now that they are here... these are   
Professors Charlotte Kuroi and Sammi Leigh. They will be teaching a new   
class this year-- Frozen, or muggle, Art."  
  
A slack class, most of the older students thought, up until Leigh   
started to laugh. It was an almost bone chilling cackle. She smiled   
nastily, "To quote: 'Welcome to my wonderful world of pain and agony.   
Let me introduce myself, my name is Tragedy.'"  
  
At the confused stares of the students, Char clarified, "She means,   
that just because this is considered a muggle class, don't think you'll   
get off easily. If you choose our class, you'll understand." her smirk   
was equal in nastiness to Sammi's own.   
  
Albus nodded, apparently having expected this, then clapped, "Let's   
finish the feast."  
  
---  
  
Sammi grumbled acidically, cursing reality, and everyone in it. She was   
also glaring at her left hand.  
  
Char rolled her eyes, "Get over it, Sam."  
  
"But my tattoo is gone!"  
  
"Did you forget to recast the spell you were using to make your   
_pen_doodle_ permanent?"  
  
"Uh..."  
  
"Just redraw it, Sam," Char shook her head, "That's what you did   
throughout sixth and seventh year."  
  
"Oh, yeah," Sammi shrugged, "Guess I forgot. Think anyone's going to   
take our class?"  
  
"Don't know," Char picked up one of Sammi's muggle posters, "Who's   
this?"  
  
"Goku-san," Sammi hadn't even bothered to look at the poster, "From   
Gensoumaden Saiyuki. He's so cute!" Char snickered as Sammi began   
talking avidly about their second favorite topic-- anime. Their most   
favored topic was currently glaring down at them from the walls of   
their office.,  
  
Sammi suddenly switched topics, "Did you see the new DADA professor?"  
  
"Yes, what's your point?"  
  
"He may not be Sev's level of lurverly-ness, but he's still hot."  
  
"He's all but a vagabond!" Char _stared_ at her friend, "You fall for   
the strangest people."  
  
"So?" Sammi grinned, pulling muggle pens and pencils out of her robe's   
sleeves, and dropping them on her desk. Being muggle-born, Sammi had   
never gotten the hand of quills, and had used muggle pencils whenever   
she could.  
  
The pureblooded Char had gotten addicted to the items via Sammi's   
influence, and was withdrawing her own store of graphite pencils., The   
two worked in silence for a few minutes, then Sammi whined.  
  
"It's to quiet! Leigh wants music!"  
  
---  
  
The following day found Ronald Weasley, and Harry Potter trailing along   
after Hermione Granger towards the Frozen Arts classroom. She was going   
on about how wonderful it would be; apparently she'd been in an art   
class or two before coming to Hogwarts.  
  
Harry had never understood what was so great about a few pencil   
scratches on paper, and Ron had no real idea what muggle art was.  
  
When they arrived at the class- they'd opted for art rather than   
divination-- it was no surprise that no one else was there. It was a   
surprise, however, to find Professor Kuroi cross-legged on the   
classroom's desk, a sheet of paper hovering in the air before her, and   
a muggle pencil in hand.  
  
Professor Leigh was very slowly running through kata-- that is,   
performing set moves of a specific martial art, in a set pattern. They   
were dressed as they had been the night prior, but surprizingly,   
Leigh's robes didn't get in the way of her punches or kicks, despite   
flopping off her shoulders to reveal a muggle t-shirt.  
  
"Welcome to our class," Leigh hummed, not once bothering to open her   
eyes, "It's a surprise to find the famous boy wonder in our class."  
  
The trio of students blinked, "How did you...?"  
  
"Sam is a very skilled martial artist," Char supplied, putting her   
pencils down, "She's been learning them ever since she was a little   
girl."  
  
"You're pretty good, too, Char," Sammi brought the kata to a close,   
bowing to Char and the three students, "She may not have been doing   
them as long, seeing as she'd a pureblood, but she'd very talented   
herself. But I suppose you're here for an art class, not a couple of   
autobiographies, no?"  
  
"Yes, we are," Hermione grinned happily, "What are we going to do   
first?"  
  
"Gather 'round my pupils," Sammi smirked, "Expectations come first."  
  
"Uh..." Ron looked at the redheaded professor in confusion, "...why   
aren't you acting like you did last night?"  
  
Sammi blushed, but she did grin widely, "I had a bit of much sugar and   
pop. I was wired."  
  
"Wired?" the three students looked at her funny, and Char laughed.  
  
"She means she was hyper. Something that she happens to be far to   
often. Now... what do you three expect from this class?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Char nodded sagely, "By the end of this year, what do you expect to   
have accomplished in this class?"  
  
"I don't know..." Ron mumbled and Harry agreed.  
  
Hermione on the other hand... "I want to be able to draw better."  
  
"Two beginners and a butterfly[1]," Sammi nodded to herself, "We've got   
work to do, then."  
  
"I'll take the butterfly," Char smirked, "and make her an artist.   
You've got the beginners, snake-girl."   
  
Char lead Hermione to a desk in the corner of the room, "Well now,   
let's start by seeing what you can do."  
  
A piece of paper and a pencil her placed on the desk. Hermione stared   
at the paper then the professor, "Ah... what do you... um... draw?"  
  
"Anything you want. I want to see what your skills and style as an   
artist are." Char explained, "That way I know where I need to start   
with you."  
  
"Uh..." Hermione picked up the pencil, and started by drawing a crude   
sketch of something that looked like a cross between an anime character   
and a cartoon character drawn by a young child.   
  
"Interesting..." Char murmured as she examined the finished piece,   
"Well, it's a start, but you have a lot of work to do. I won't lie to   
you, art is a big commitment. It is not something you can learn in a   
month or two. By the way, how often do you draw in a day?"  
  
"In a day?!" Hermione stared at the Professor and blushed, "Well...   
once or twice a week."  
  
"What?! You... I... that just won't do... a week... you should be   
drawing at least twice a day. It doesn't have to be a masterpiece or   
anything, just some sort of doodle, but you need to start drawing way   
more," Char paused to catch her breath, "Besides, it's a great stress   
reliever, and that can come in handy when you need a clear mind for   
school and magic alike."  
  
Hermione looked down at her feet, "Sorry..."   
  
A smile crossed Char's face, "Let's try again, shall we?" she picked up   
the pencil, and began the process of teaching her new student.  
  
As Char worked with the wild-haired witch, Sammi turned to Ron and   
Harry, "Well boys, let me tell you a little something. Despite the fact   
that you're learning a "muggle class", there is a reason the Great   
White Bee let us teach this class. It's called control."  
  
The two boys looked at each other in confusion, and Leigh led them to   
the back of the class, opposite to Char, where her personal art   
supplies were. She pulled a poster-sized sheet out and the two were   
surprised to see what appeared to be an elf and a dragon. Sammi   
grinned, "Char drew the dragon. I'm absolutely horrid at them. But in   
any case... art is a test of one's skill."  
  
"We're wizard's though," Ron thought to interject.  
  
"And I'm a witch," came the rye response, "Char and I use our magic to   
keep our art from fading or tearing. You saw Char using a levitation   
spell to hold up her paper, and another spell to harden the air beneath   
it so that she doesn't ruin that paper. Art is a release-- you can   
paint away your angers and frustrations. Which helps in the control of   
your magic. Extreme emotions cloud the thoughts, and clouded thoughts   
equal clouded morals. A man may kill when angered, but would never even   
consider it when in his right mind."  
  
The two boys nodded in understanding, as the true purpose behind the   
art class became clear. It was a class to be used, essentially, to   
train one to let go of their negative-- and even positive-- emotions.   
In a time when Voldemort preyed on emotions to bring him followers--   
even as a disjointed spirit-- this could be considered a life saver.  
  
And it was all disguised as a simple muggle art class. How very clever.   
They didn't give Dumbledore enough credit for ingenuity.   
  
Leigh shook herself out of her almost trace-like state and grinned at   
her students, "Anyways, like they say-- a picture is worth a thousand   
words. You can almost see into a person's mind when you look at   
something they draw. But that's nothing we'll get into today."  
  
"What _are_ we going to do today?" Harry wondered. His redheaded   
professor grinned.  
  
"We're going to see how good you are with a pencil and paper."  
  
---  
  
Harry frowned to himself later that night, arms folded behind his head.   
Something was going on, and he disliked not knowing what.  
  
There was his godfather, Sirius Black, to think about. No one would   
tell him what the man had done, but he knew it had to be something bad.   
Why would he be in Azkaban if he hadn't?  
  
Then there were the two teaching Frozen Art. Why were there _two_   
teachers? And what was their connection to Snape? The Potions Master   
had almost seemed... scared of the two who had taken up sitting on   
either side of him during meals.  
  
He just had to figure it out...  
  
---  
  
"Severus... Severus where are you...?"  
  
"Are you hiding from us...?"  
  
Sammi and Char pouted as their quarry had yet to show himself. Leigh   
leaned back against the stone walls of the dungeons, crossing her arms,   
"I don't get it. Where is he?"  
  
"Not here," Char sighed, "I'm beginning to think he hates us."  
  
"Well... we _are_ stalking him."  
  
There was a clattering sound from down the hall, and Sammi peered down   
it, "Ah, shit."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Sammi shook her head, amused, "A couple of Weasleys, I'd guess, by the   
hair."  
  
"Coming this way?" Char questioned.  
  
"Aye."  
  
Char nodded, her eyes twinkling, "Want to spy on them?"  
  
"When would I not?" Sammi grinned to her friend before her shape   
changed. Char followed suit, and then there was a bat and a raven in   
the shadows of the hall.  
  
---  
  
End Chapter  
  
[1] Butterfly; a term the Itch made up generally meaning one who's   
dabbled in various forms or art, but hasn't selected a preferred medium   
to work with. (Itch's is pencils and pen and ink, Dragon's is pen and   
pencil crayon)  
  
Itch: Yes, Silent Dragon and I really are both martial artists. She   
does uh... Dragon, what style do you practice?  
  
SD: You don't remember! I'm _so_ hurt! Oh well *smiles*, I practice   
Jiu-Jitsu. Its considered one of the oldest forms of martial arts in   
Japan.  
  
Itch: Right, that's what she does. I practice Koshin Karate Jutsu--   
which is a combination of Shintani Wado Kai and Koryu Uchinada. 


End file.
